The one thing I thought about when I would think of the word “empowerment” was, to be empowered you must exhibit great strength. I always felt the need to be Superwoman. I had to be able to do it all, for myself and my family, and I had to be the best at it. And if I couldn’t do it all, it meant certain failure, I had failed everyone and I had failed myself because I couldn’t do it all. I was totally wrong.
It is really sad the things we tell ourselves. The stories we make up in our heads about how we think life should be. The problem with creating expectations in your head is that nobody can possibly live up to them, including you. The way to change where you are and create a life of empowerment and happiness is to tell yourself a better story. I had to accept that I didn’t have to stay where I was, and in the same respect, I didn’t have to quantum leap into happiness and bliss to create something new and wonderful flowing in my life.
It is impossible to quantum leap from despair and frustration into happiness. That’s why happy people annoy you when you are feeling down. You are not in the same emotional vicinity as they are, so there is no way you can relate to them. You just want to roll your eyes at them and trip them as they walk by. Just kidding! So if you can’t quantum leap into happiness from where you are, then how do you get there from here? I chose to fill my days and nights and all the space in between with better thoughts…more loving accepting thoughts. It became important to me to plug into positive material such as books, CD’s and positive friends. I also needed to remain open to new change and growth and stay open to the possibility that my life could be different.
Changing your life takes conscious effort. I had come to the point where I was no longer willing to live by default, I had to create my life the way I wanted it. In order to change my thoughts, I literally had to change my mind by talking myself into better thoughts. When I had what I thought was a “normal” (unempowering) thought, such as “I can’t do this, its not going to change anything”, I had to have a conversation with myself and say “Okay, then what is the alternative? No, that doesn’t sound very good either. What if I didn’t have this thought? What would I be able to accomplish? Maybe I can do this, maybe I should do this?? Okay, I will try this for one more moment”. After all we only have this moment, so in this moment you can choose to think and feel good feelings or choose to live by default and let other people or circumstance dictate your life. You don’t have to commit to doing this for the next 20 years or even 20 minutes - none of us are promises more than this moment in time. You only have to commit to thinking better thoughts in this moment, and then in this moment, and then in this moment. Don’t become overwhelmed by the concept of time, and PLEASE be forgiving with yourself! I have moments everyday where I could have made a better decision. Just let it go, because it’s in the past, and then choose to think a better, good feeling thought.
Take a few moments to identify one thing that you would like to change in your life. Then make a list of your negative emotions that surround the issue. Create a few new positive thoughts for each negative emotion you have written down. Carry it around with you if you need to and each time you revert to the negative thought process, tell yourself the new positive thought and keep repeating it in your mind. Remember, the more emotion you can associate with a thought the more impact it will have to change your habits, so really feel the emotion from the positive thoughts, be grateful that you have the opportunity to change. Even if you don’t see it yet, know the change is coming. Change isn’t something you see, it happens over time and it’s something you have to trust is happening. You can let change happen to you or you can create positive change for yourself. You will find that once you start doing this for one area of your life, it will spill over to other areas in your life. It is very important to plug into a positive source such as CD’s or friends who will feed you good thoughts as well.
As always, if you have any questions or comments, please share them or email me at justfeelgood2@gmail.com.
Sending you love.
~Wendy
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